How to handle food allergies at a kids' birthday party

Ask early, ask clearly

Put the question on the invitation or RSVP: "Any allergies or foods we should know about?" Then follow up personally with any family who mentions one. Ask what the reaction looks like, what they usually do, and whether they'd like to stay or send food.

Plan a menu that works for everyone

The easiest approach is to make the shared food safe for everyone rather than serving a separate plate to one child.

• Choose simple foods with short ingredient lists: plain fruit, veggies, popcorn (for kids old enough), plain chips.
• Common allergens include peanuts, tree nuts, milk, egg, wheat, soy, fish, shellfish and sesame. Check labels for all of them if you've been told about an allergy.
• Keep the packaging until the party's over so any parent can check ingredients.
• Use separate serving spoons and label each dish.
• Ask the allergic child's parent before serving anything homemade.

The cake

• Ask a bakery directly about allergens and shared equipment; many can tell you what they can and can't promise.
• Bake at home from a recipe the child's parent approves, or ask the parent to send a safe cupcake so everyone gets candles and singing together.
• Serve the safe treat first, on a clean plate, before cutting anything else.

Have an emergency plan

1. Know which children have allergies and what their parents told you to do.
2. Ask whether the child carries medicine such as an epinephrine auto-injector, where it will be, and who knows how to use it.
3. Keep parents' phone numbers handy and your phone charged.
4. Know your address for an emergency call.
5. Wash hands (or wipe) before eating, and wipe tables after.

Include, don't single out

Kids care most about doing what everyone else is doing. Make the safe food the normal food, put the safe cupcake on the same platter, and pick favors that aren't candy: stickers, bubbles, glow sticks, a small book. Then nobody's left trading treats.

Frequently asked questions